Full Moon Release, Goodbye to my Little Dog, Hello to my New Self
My little dog Yaapana crossed over on my daughter’s birthday 3/13/14. It was a very difficult day. One of the most difficult I have yet to experience, yet I have had this incredible peace about me. A peace that only comes from KNOWING that Spirit is in charge. That all was totally meant to be. I have reflected a lot this weekend. A LOT.
On the eve that Mini Dude crossed over my BFF and her daughter (my girl’s BFF) were serendipitiously in town to support us. They arrived shortly after we experienced that horrendous loss. I wrote about that crazy day’s experience the other day HERE. But I stopped the story at sunset. I still had to process what exactly happened.
The four of us girls and my 15 year son were going to go to the stables to feed our new horse. My son was REALLY torn up, and he didn’t feel like going. I felt he should to feel better. I said, ‘Son, it would do you some good to see the sunset.’ and left it at that. He chose to go.
We arrived and the girls ran to the west to climb the gate and open it so we could go get our horse from his paddock. The sunset was beautiful behind them. My BFF was looking toward them and began taking some photos of them on the fence, as silhouettes in the setting sun. We got the horse, led him into his stall, fed him then went home.
Later that night she said to me, I know how you like photos with orbs and things. You should see these.’ (so nonchalant, as her style). I was like ok, so she gave me her phone.
Here is what I saw. I have tried and tried to get the pics upright, so I am accepting that they want to be seen in this view.
I was so happy that I received this confirmation from Spirit and this closure. I showed my hubby and son. They both also knew it was Yaapana.
My BFF and I sat by the fire and chatted. It was so nice that she was here to support me in this way during such a time of change. She went to bed around 11:30PM. I sat up and reflected.
Later that night I called my Aunt Vonnie on the west coast, as she was still up. I couldn’t sleep. I told her the day’s events and she looked at the pix I forwarded to her and was amazed as well. She, my sister and BFF are my true only female support since my mom, her sister Lorene, passed in May 2008. I was sitting in my new den hangout that I created from our garage while talking to her. I looked up and saw the chakra flags. I noticed the symbol of the yantra on the sacral chakra flag was EXACTLY the same shape and color as the orb in the photos. I sent her this pic:
Can you see the shape? Ok so this is serendipitous, too. Another strange coincidence is the fact that I am currently teaching a seven week series on Journey through the Chakras and I JUST taught the night before about the sacral chakra! …For info on that series of teachings on the chakras click HERE. This was just too much. We hung up.
I drew a card from the Archangel Tarot by Doreen Virtue. I drew two, one for today and one for tomorrow. I texted it to my aunt.
I decided to finally go to bed, as I had a 8:45AM Hot yoga to teach.
This has been an incredible bonding experience with my son. I am thankful for that. He and I really were so close with Yaapana. We both feel he was more like a little man in a dog body. I swear one day when I was in the kitchen and looked at him in the eye, I totally saw my Grandpa Farrell. Yep. My grandpa even had large bug eyes, like our Chihuahua. It was brief but very real. My son dream travelled with Mini and had many activations around the Shift of Winter Solstice 2012. We sat and laughed about how Yaapana would sing to the harmonica. We laughed at how he would howl when the teapot was blowing. How he was a perfect circle when he slept. He will be missed.
I told him that Spirit send him healing and that the sunset was meant for him, before we left I said he needed to see the sunset.
But yet I choose JOY. I choose not to be overcome by sadness. I am thankful for all the joy that little dog brought us. He had no other purpose. He was here to give us joy and laughter.
That eight pound little Chihuahua LITERALLY walked into our life. Someone came to my studio, knocked on the door when it was locked and we were closed to the public conducting a teacher training with a small group of trainees, including my hubby. It was a hot July in Texas in 2011. I opened the door and a lady had this blonde Chihuahua in her arms. I was like ‘hello? how can I help you ma’am?’ and she was like, ‘yeah, I was just coming by to see if I could levee you this dog. I found him running down the hot street and chased him with my car, and I can’t keep him.’ I was like, ‘why?’ She said, ‘because I’m going to Maine.’ I was like, ‘now?’ and she said yes and handed me the dog. I took him and looked out to her car as she walked away, it was packed with a car topper. I actually believe that she told me the truth.
I locked the door and went back into the studio with a dog in my arms. My hubby was like, ‘what just happened?’ The lead teacher said, ‘Oh I think you know what just happened, you just got a dog!’ It was really funny. He was a sweet pet, a one family dog for sure and VERY protective of our family and property, which is why he got snatched barking and defending in the black before dawn.
For a few weeks before this event my allergies had been acting up a bit (more than usual, as I am usually able to control them with giving up wheat Gluten). We really needed rain so the pollen has been up. With all that crying my sinuses were stopped up. I had been treating with natural remedies like doing Neti Pot, echinacea, colloidal silver inhaler and herbal teas. It was subsiding, but my ear drum felt like it had liquid in it from all the nose blowing and my sinuses seemed to be turning to infection. Nice.
The next day I awoke and my BFF went to my yoga class. I normal would have had to go straight to Dallas, but luckily my private client cancelled so we had time to do some Zumba with my super fun staff Zumba teacher, then go Thrift shopping. I found some Levis bootcut low rise to wear to the barn then I went to Dallas for my second class at noon at Larry North CityPlace. I got there early and had time (first time ever) to go into the dry sauna. It was so nice. I cooled down then taught a fun handstand practice to a dedicated student that came (it was Friday of Spring Break) After class I went back into the sauna, I laid on my ear to bring the heat into it and meditated. My son was immediately on my heart. I did Reiki and a purple inner light came into my vision. It soon covered my entire inner vision. I sent healing to my son. I sent healing to my self and my ear.
I then decided to pamper myself and cool down then take a nice shower. My second private had postponed until next week, so again was given a rare opportunity to have some me time again that day. I took a relaxing shower and then went into the locker room. Another trainer was there and commented on my tattoo work only right thigh (you could see it below my towel). We struck up a conversation and it quickly turned into a Spirit led meeting. She too was going through a major shift I decided to share what happened and she almost cried as she has a Chihuahua. She and I really connected and I invited her to come out to my studio and take Reiki 1, as she feel she needs to take her training to another level. I am so thankful for Spirit working through me. She was too, and thankful she commented, as she said she is quiet a lot, because her circle is very earthly and material and she doesn’t fit in. I empathized with her, I get it. It is difficult to stay true to your path. Yet, I encouraged her that is gets easier and your ‘circle’ gets much smaller as those who really care about you and don’t want something from you will fall away.
I drove home to hang with the Bestie. By the time I got there my ear was clogged and very very painful. I mixed heated sesame oil and garlic juice and asked my daughter to take a cotton ball and squeeze some drops all the way into my ear. I didn’t ask nicely and I felt badly. I laid down on my side and she doctored me. I then had to take a nap. (I was feeling like a crappy, inattentive friend, but I had nothing left.) I slept almost one and a half hours. When I awoke I felt much better but there was still this pressure in my third eye. I took 3 acetaminophen (which I NEVER take). I decided to start on some antibiotics. I found some old amoxicillin and took 2.
We all went to feed the horse, Cochise then came home and we made a nice dinner. My BFF and I played poker with my son in my new den, then sat outside and had a lot of wine, listened to music from the 90’s and enjoyed each other’s company. She rolled in and I decided to sit and meditate a bit then rolled in to prep for bed myself.
I heard a noise and then my son came out of his room sobbing, so, so hard. It was super sad. I cried with him and we went to sit by the fire pit. He has been taking this pretty hard, and for a 15 year old boy to show his feelings that is so rare. We chatted about the fun times we had with the little guy and how it is hard to believe that is is just gone. We went to bed.
Saturday I taught mediation and one lady came. She is usually extremely good natured and so jubilant. Today she was sitting quiet in the Far infrared Heat in the studio when I arrived. (Thank GOD for my amazing receptionist to open for me.)
She said, ‘is it just me today?’ I was like, ‘yes, no worries.’ and she said she had a friend call her early already on a Saturday and dump her problems on her and started tearing up. She needed to release from these ‘energy vampires’ she had in her life. We did a Full Moon meditation. She felt much better.
I then taught Hot Energizing Prana Vinyasa Flow for my regulars and we did a fun hot sweaty flow with an arm balance thrown in. Then it was time for my second class, which is now covered by my amazing teacher trainees who are going through their internship as student teacher and assistants! Which means I could leave! Woo-hoo!
I went home to hang with my BFF before she had to roll out back to Austin. We had coffee and she packed up. It was such a nice visit and the timing was definitely Divinely ordained. The girls came back with my hubby from her first soccer game of the season. They won!
They departed and I was so grateful to have her here.
I ate some carrots and hummus. My head began to get this pressure between my brows. I laid down and could not even look at my phone. My little sister in soul was texting me, and she was at a healing weekend retreat with fiends in Arkansas. She said she put my picture on their altar for the ceremony along with all the crystals and special objects. I was incredibly honored.
My third Eye had been on FI-YAH. Unbearable heat. It feels like a bruise to the touch. I know this is more than sinus. It is totally energetic. I had placed my huge crystal shard on it (which works like an energetic knife of ice as a healing tool) plus a bag of frozen edamame balancing on that, and it was still hot. I finally texted my acupuncturist for some distance healing for my third eye and sinuses and briefly summarized the loss of the dog on my daughters birth. I napped, then ate a bit.
I saw a reply from my acupuncturist, who is an intuitive. She said she had a chant to open my third eye. I made some tea. I then said goodnight to my hubby, as he was asleep watching tv in our bed. I tucked in my daughter and went outside in the full moon. I am so glad I did. It was beautiful.
I chanted the one word chant standing in the full moon with the moonlight on my third for a long, long time and it was just after a rain. I saw the raindrops in the moonlight dripping off the cedars, and felt it lightly dropping on my face. I did some major Reiki on my self. It was so intense that I had to grab a lawn chair and use it for stability. I did some Heart opening asana and some Kundalini movements spinning til it finally released. Whoa. I held the chair and looked at the moon. The pain was much lessened. I looked at the cedars and felt so grateful for all my trees. They are so lovely and are my friends. I thanked each and everyone that I could see in the back by the river then thanked all the trees. Then I need to lay done. I was exhausted. I went inside into my den, since it wiped me out to do the work and meditated. I realized my sacral chakra was needing to take that heat and balance it with my ajna chakra. I used my crystal shard and placed it on my sacral chakra as I laid down. I did some major self-reflection and received pleasure, Goddess Energy was so beautifully forgiving.
Sunday morning we all slept in. For brunch I cooked everyone our lovely free dance organic eggs from our girls with some homemade hash browns. MMMmmm. Over breakfast I suggested that we make a family altar for Easter and place Yaapana’s favorite items and things that remind us of him on it. My son’s best friend had spent the night and he really loved that dog, so he participated too.
After breakfast we all gathered an objects and placed them on the mantle and fireplace. We created a very nice little altar. It had a painting from a friend with a chakra theme, a tree of life one of my yoga students made for me out of wire, a huge glass purple piece, Yaapana’s little bed and two of his super cute outfits, the harmonica, a rosary, some easter eggs with positive sayings on them, and many candles. I really love it. I hope it serves a purpose to bring closure.
Me my son and his friend went to go let our horse out since it stopped raining. It was icy cold out so we made it quick. We brought Cochise a bucket full of oranges, banana, flax seeds and the shells from edamame and some old slices of cantaloupe. He turned his nose but when we went back later that day to put him back in his stall he ate all but the banana. Funny!
This has been a very strange experience. The most satisfying yet sad weekend ever. I will say, my sinuses seem clear now and my third eye has absolutely no pain!
I drew a card from my favorite deck of oracle cards called Angels, Gods and Goddesses. I picked the top card from the deck. It was the Angel of Guidance. Her third Eye was open, it is a brilliant star! (photo at top of post)
I will see what the next days bring.
Peace, Love, Light