It has been far too long since I last wrote. When I signed up for yoga teacher training back in October, I didn’t know that in December, I would be promoted to a new position at work (with lots more responsibility). For years, I wanted to be a Director at the non-profit I work for and also dreamed of going through yoga teacher training. If anyone would have told me I’d be doing both roles at the same time, I would have said you were crazy. But here I am, doing both at the same time and there are days when I don’t think I can do it and other days when I know I can make it.
If I can train and complete a 100 mile bike ride, I can do this, right? Oddly enough, I would say that the 100 mile bike ride in August, in Texas, was much easier to train for than going through a 300 hour yoga teacher training and learning a new position. I think the main difference is the amount of brain activity required for my new roles: the constant meetings, interactions with people and decisions I have to make on a daily basis are very tiring. When I was training for the bike ride, I only had to deal with sore muscles and my own schedule. Being responsible for more people, learning how to teach yoga, teaching yoga, trying to fit in my own yoga practice, along with my other physical activities has been a challenge. Have I mentioned I am still trying to fit in seeing my husband, family and dog?
However, I’m thankful I’m on this journey. Yoga and meditation have taught me that. I’m thankful I have a husband, that while he doesn’t entirely support the idea of spending all this money to learn about yoga, in his own way still supports me. I’m thankful that I have a great yoga teacher and a great supervisor at my job. I’m learning a lot from both of them. The reason I started yoga teacher training and went for my current job was because of the people I would be learning from which makes all the time commitments and strains on my brain easier to deal with.
I have noticed some negative side affects of all this stress. I’ve noticed my go to for stress is sweets and lots of them!!! I also have noticed times when wine seems to be a little more than a passing phase. However, would I notice these things if I wasn’t so involved with learning, observing and being in the moment? Probably not. I have noticed I’m some times too tired to write and have missed this form of expressing myself.
A lot has changed in my life because of both of these experiences. I have learned that I LOVE the business side of helping people and I LOVE the intellectual side of yoga. One of my mentors once said to me that I would be bored teaching yoga. He does not know all that goes into teaching and understanding yoga. Yoga is more than just exercising. Yoga is a way of life. A couple of days ago when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed, I called my yoga teacher asking if I could just get my 200 hours certificate versus my 300. She said that wasn’t an option but also said that I was almost done. She mentioned that I’ll know when I’m ready to teach. I hated that answer. I wanted to know when, give me a date. And then it hit me, yoga is about the journey, being ready when you are ready. It’s not about being ready after the last weekend module or when the other person in your training is ready. It’s your practice and you’ll be ready when you are ready. I get this intellectually but a part of me still wants a date. I believe that’s my ego fighting with me, not wanting to let go, not wanting me to just be. And so, I’ll just continue to take one day at a time. I’ll continue to deepen my practice, deepen my awareness and teach.
I will say I’m so excited to be writing again. That has been the missing link in this journey over the last few months. I believe that when I write, I hold myself accountable to eating, being healthy and being a good person to others. And so, I write. I write for me and for those of you who also need to read some one’s story to maybe help you own. I also confess. Today, yesterday and many days prior to that, I’ve been eating like there was no tomorrow. I’m secretly jealous of those family members and friends around me who are losing weight, while I struggle to maintain and sometimes I am gaining. I’m going to do something about this! I’m going to give myself a challenge.
Starting on April 10th, I’m only going to eat whole foods for at least one month. I mean it. I’m only eating those foods that I can make myself. No more chips, carob chips, processed sweets, protein powders, etc. If it’s not in a whole form or I can’t figure out how to make it or have a recipe for it, then I’m not eating it. I will get these 5 pounds off that I can’t seem to shake. I will rely less on eating sweets and allow my palate to get back to the greens I love so much.
So…super excited to say that as part of this challenge, I’m going to learn how to make Kombucha (thanks to my yoga teacher) and wine (thanks to my friend at work). Remember, if I can’t make it, I can’t eat it so I’ve got to learn these things or I can’t continue to drink these drinks. I’ll admit I’m a GT’s Kombucha lover as well as a wine lover! How can I not drink wine right now? It’s spring!
So…until next time. I’ll keep you posted on the whole foods challenge because part of this challenge is holding myself accountable. I don’t see it as adding one more thing to my plate, I see it as a venue for being held accountable as well as helping you reach your goals!