CONTROL

Just like the film I haven’t seen…. the sequences of videos that resinate with in.

She Lost Control

I could but I refuse! You don’t control me! I don’t control you. My truth has been anytime I’ve tried to have a control over someone or a situation my negative thinking blows up in my face prohibiting me from true growth. The Blue Moon last night had a significant power over my thoughts with in my control.  The ray of light and stunning mystery of the sky reminded me of who I am and what I am here to do.  Not everyone understands cosmic beings like myself and I to question things at times, but my vision is still very clear and my purpose more now then ever. I have to continue to heal myself so I may show others how to heal. Maybe it’s sickness, ptsd, depression, sexual abuse, abuse, or just the unknown.  I get caught up in the material world sometimes forgetting what truly matters, self love and compassion which was instructed today by Christina Cathey of Imagine Yoga here at WAAS Gallery.  Even though I give and give I forget to Love myself and be compassionate towards my needs and struggles. We all have them. Some worse than others. I no longer want to think I am in control.

Grandma is dying, I am losing my hearing, my equilibrium is off which knocks me off balance, I will have to face my abuser and the family I cut off over 3 years ago, court with sons father again, doctor says my body is shot and in a few month it will shut down since I am a “workaholic”!  At times I feel like I am losing my mind because the doctors try to have a control on my thoughts and how they said I would never be med free or walk this earth just being me.  I know I am not the only one.

Even though all this is going on I will not be controlled by sadness, hurt, anger or pain.  I chose love and with love comes light and with light comes joy.  Who doesn’t want JOY?

I’m stressing to you the power of positive thought.  If you truly believe it, it can be. Believe you are a star, believe you are meant for greatness, believe theres still a reason to believe.  Feed yourself what it needs and deserve.  I to need to do the same so no preaching here just wanted you to know you can break thru anything.

I will stay conscious, positive, and instrument my thoughts, spoken words, and intention.

It isn’t always easy, but I know I live a much more purposeful life because of my new age thoughts and what I know we can all become if we want.

To a degree the only person I can control is me. You might not always like it, understand it, or even want to know about it, but it is real.  Heaven on Earth we are already here and don’t have to be controlled.